Tuesday, June 15

Running shoes are ugly

Chris and I started the couch-to-5k program last week.  It was my idea at first, but Chris was a good sport.  It starts with a 5 minute walk, followed by a 2 minute jog, followed by a 5 minute walk.  Slowly, you add a minute at a time and build your endurance.  We both enjoyed our first day.  Our second run out, still at only 2 minutes for that run, I thought I was going to die.  One minute in, I was wheezing and complaining of shin splints.  Chris assures me it is not possible to have shin splints from a 2 minute run unless I'm hiding a couple hundred pounds somewhere.  My shins insist he's wrong, but whatever.  Suffice to say, Chris liked our second run a whole lot better than I did.  In fact, he loved it.  He can't wait to run a 5k.  He insisted that my shoes were the things holding me back.  I think my ice cream consumption has more to do with it, but again, whatever.

My last pair of tennis shoes were purchased 9 years ago.  I bought a pair of Skechers.  Comfy shoes.  They have held up pretty well, but the fabric has worn through to plastic that rubs against my Achilles tendon and they are definitely NOT running shoes.

So we went shopping.

Oh. My.

Sweet baby elephants, those things are ugly!  Every pair had nylon netting on them.  EVERY pair.  Do you remember fishnet shirts from the 80's?  They were like a combination of this:

and this:

Disturbing, right?  And what do they both have in common?  Men's nipples.  Even as a child, I knew this was wrong, wrong, wrong.  Yet, back in the '80's, you couldn't watch a basketball game in the park without spotting male nipplage.  And that's all I could see when Chris showed me my shoe options.  DOZENS of shoes bringing to mind nipple-nightmares.  It's all I could see.

He held up a nice navy pair.  "No, it makes me think of man-nipples."

How about this pink and grey pair? "Hey! My favorite color combination!.....in nineteen eighty FIVE.  And I still see nipples."

Here's an understated beige pair, he offered.  "Crocodile Dundee nipples."

He sighed.  We then decided I should stop looking at the shoes and just choose a pair for comfort.  So I stared at the ceiling and let Chris put ugly shoes on my feet. I never peeked, for fear I would be swayed by appearance rather than comfort. The first pair felt heavenly.  The second pair felt almost heavenly.  We tried on a dozen different shoes and the last pair was really, really close to heavenly.  I caught a glimpse (accidentally) and they were the first pair I'd seen without nylon netting.  I asked to see the heavenly pair.  Nipples.  I was very torn.  Not-terrible greys and blues or brown nipple netting?  I opted for comfort and we headed to the counter with the first pair I had tried on.  Such a patient man.

I opened the box one more time just as Chris finished paying for the shoes.  "Wait....is that gold Lamé ?!?"

Oh, yeah.  Golden shoes.  They had looked brown in another light.  But no.  They were gold.

"I can't.  I'm sorry.  I just can't."

So I they canceled the order and I went back for the almost heavenly shoes.

But at the counter, I faltered again.  I don't like either pair.  Does it make a difference?  I was torn.  Chris was amazingly patient.  He insisted, "If you don't like them, it's okay."  Yeah, but I don't like running either, so what difference does it make?

I bought the golden shoes.

The next day was a running day.  I made it to three minutes and I didn't die.  I thought I might, but I didn't.  And I didn't get shin splints.  So the shoes are growing on me.

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Classical Circus said...

ROFLOL--you slay me!

I got a new pair of running shoes a couple of years ago. I went to the running store to get the right fit, and ended up walking out with a $100 pair of baby blue netted running shoes. I think yours are way cuter. I got home, opened the box to show my husband, and quickly proclaimed "I went for comfort, not style!" I never did think man-nipples, but I will now. Gee, thanks :o).

granny janny said...

WOW, you have issues.

Christy said...

Wow, the word nipples was said waaayyyyy too much in that story, nice Jen...lol

Cousin Carrie said...

Yay for you guys! I started running as soon as I quit work, and I may be crazy, but I love the look and feel of NEW running shoes. I just got a pair about a month ago. Mine do have some of the crazy fishnet though. Now I'll never look at them quite the same.

I run on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, with hand weights and situps on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Have fun. I'm glad Chris is doing it with you. I've tried talking the hubby into it, but haven't gotten very far with the running discussion:)
I'm up to a max of 5 miles (just on Saturdays). My hope was to do a half marathon by fall, but right now I'm not seeing it happening. At 5 a.m. today, It was so humid I put 3 miles in and couldn't go any further!

Jenn said...

Courtney, I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees the ugly. These are the most comfortable shoes I've ever owned in my life. I've found myself grabbing for them before leaving the house for errands and then stopping myself. I'm not ready to go there yet.

Mom, I love you, too. :D

Christy, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. It's not something you'll hear me say often. This was just one of those appropriate moments. Honest.

Carrie, you rock! I cannot fathom 5 minutes, let alone 5 miles.

Andrea said...

Ok. I'm laughing now.

I'm not particularly fond of anything but sandals. I can feel your pain. lol

Learning Together at Home said...

Oh - I just about fell off my chair! I thought I was the only one who struggled with running shoe shopping. It's definitely a mind over matter thing! My latest pair are called Supern*vas. I mean really, does not not just push the mind to Late 80's Music Videos? I solemnly swear the men in your photos would;ve claimed my shoes as their favourites! LOL

Jenn said...

Oh, how fun! I had to look up the Supernovas. Most certainly '80's stylin'! But so comfy looking at the same time.

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