My Little Man

Ethan spent yesterday building a tent outdoors with sticks and old cloth. At supper, he asked permission to sleep in it. I've learned by now to not express shock or dismay, so I cheerfully said, "Sure! That sounds like fun! You go for it!" On the inside, I was thinking of bugs crawling on him, psychopaths sneaking up on him, or rain and cold giving him pneumonia and sending him to the hospital where he would catch a strep infection resistant to antibiotics.

And rabid bunnies.

The thought of him out there alone panicked me, but I honestly thought he would give up on the idea by himself and mostly forgot about it until 8:00 when he headed out the door with his pillow. He gave me a casual kiss goodnight and swaggered out the door. I tucked the others into bed and then blogged. Around 9:30, I decided I would "casually" go check on him. He was asleep! Not the least bit afraid? But my stirrings awakened him. I told him I was just checking on him and wanted to know if he was sure he didn't want to come in.

Why did I ask? Why didn't I just leave him well enough alone?

"No, I'm fine," he said so nonchalantly.

"Are you sure? It's getting kinda cold out here." It really was - honest!

"Yes. I'm coming in."

Just like that. Without hesitation the second time, he jumped at the escape. He was cold. He wouldn't admit to being afraid and I at least knew not to push that one. You could tell by his voice that he was somewhat relieved that I had pushed just once more. But I felt bad for stepping in and interrupting this rite of passage for the boy. He had psyched himself up to take the step and had made it through the hard part.....then mom came out and messed it all up.

He happily came in and snuggled with his Mama, not seeming to mind a bit. I savored the snuggles, knowing this little boy isn't really a little boy any longer.