I am so embarrassed to admit this, but I am apparently an anxious person.*
Ugh, it sound so weak and whimpish. My husband teases me about being a worrier from a long line of worriers, but I've never thought of myself that way. Certainly, I can quickly assess all manner of worst-case-scenarios in any given situation, but it's more of a practical-thinking kind of tool. I determine what could be unsafe and I make provisions to prevent danger and then I stop worrying, knowing I've done what I can to make things safe. In my back yard, there are limited things that could be considered dangerous. There is a road, so I gave the kids a boundary line not to play beyond. There is a swing set and the kids know not to climb on top of it unless they feel like driving themselves to the E.R. I live in a quiet neighborhood with neighbors that help keep an eye on my kids in our safe haven of a yard. There is little to worry over.
But after several nights of some scary heart palpitations, I went to the doctor and was told I was having a reaction to a bad combination of excessive amounts of caffeine, too little sleep, and stress.
Me: My life is great! What do you mean stress?
Doctor: Good, good. So are you still homeschooling? How is that going?
Me: Great! Everything's going really well.
Doctor: And your asthma? Still mild? No flare-ups recently?
Me: Well, we're moving into an old house that needs a lot of renovating and it has set off my allergies a lot lately.
Doctor: You're moving?
Me: Well, yeah, but it's at our leisure and there's no rush and it's going to be a relaxed move.
Doctor: Sure. (snort) Whatever.
Oh, wait. Not everything came back normal. I have high cholesterol now. Cholesterol? It's not high enough for meds, but high enough to declare me an OLD PERSON.
I'm an old ninny.
And NOW I feel stressed.
*edited to point out that apparently, everyone but ME knew I was an anxious person. Non-anxious people apparently calmly say, "Really? I don't feel stressed." Anxious people say, "What?!? But I don't feel any stress! How can I be stressed if I don't feel stress???"