I have zero tact. I laugh too loudly. I can't pick a clothing style to suit me to save my life. I am a poor housekeeper. I don't know when to leave a party...I'm a lingerer. I have licked my plate in public (in my defense it was a chocolate torte from Zio's and they are oh.so.heavenly.) Once upon a time, I was bent on living up to everyone's standards and then some. I strove for perfection. Now I strive for real. Some people have a way with words and can handle conversations so gracefully! I admire them. But without a doubt, I prefer to know what someone is really thinking than to have them smile kindly and tell me what I want to hear. You may think it's polite. I think it's dishonest.I am no longer worried about what people think of me. If you don't like me, I regret that. I wish you would because I kind of like me and perhaps we're both missing out. But then again, maybe not. Maybe we just like different things and different people and why on EARTH would I want to put myself through hoops and be something I'm not? What's the worst thing that can happen when I choose to be myself? You won't like me. Okay. I can live with that. It's something I have no control over anyway, so there's no point in obsessing over it.
This is a long, rambling explanation, but the bottom line is that it finally dawned on me that I don't have the time or energy to invest into pleasing everyone. I want to please my God and please my husband. I am relieved to have discovered that there are some really cool people out there who appreciate white trash mamas like myself, so luckily, I'm not friendless through my "dawning awakening".
And just to clarify, even though I'm already horribly long winded and you've probably given up and closed this window already anyway: I don't mean that I surround myself with people who make me feel good about myself. I mean that I surround myself with people who are true friends. It's amazing how "not good about yourself" a true friend can make you feel. lol. I want the low-down-nitty-gritty and a real friend will give it. And I can always know that it comes from love.
Part 3
6 comments:
Amen Sister! I need to be a little trashier sometimes. I breastfed in a bowling alley one time, does that count?
Boobin' at the Bowl-a-Rama! There's a country song there somewhere....
Even when you were just a little girl, I've felt like was in the presence of an Angel around you.
I love you just the way you are.
Hey this is Just a Redneck hangin out with jesus. I like the name of your blog. I'll be praying the Lord shows you who you are. It is a blessing to read someone is searching for who God has made them. Who are we suposed to plase man or God. Check us out some time. beulahbaptistonline.org We are not your ordanary Baptist church. How can we be if one of the pastors is a Redneck hangin out with Jesus.
Matthew, Thank you! I like your blog (and so does my off-road-loving husband.)
Thank you for your prayers. One thing I have learned about who I am is this: I'm His. One man's trash is....God's treasure. :)
LOLOLOL! When I initially saw your link from the "Creatin' Classical Chaos' blog, I didn't plan on clicking it due to your blog name. Well the Holy Spirit got a hold of me and I'm so glad I clicked it! Thanks for going against the flow, as ALL believers should. I apologize for judging. Blessings!
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