I'd like to thank the academy...

I turned in my judging shoes and handed the job over to my sugarbuns. He declared hands-down that I was the winner. He said there was no doubt that ours was the nastiest fridge. However, since that's not how the game works, the runner-up in his book is actually the winner. So the real winner is........Jennie C.!!! Jennie C., come on down! The judge wanted to be sure you knew that even though you won, he would still thank the Lord if our fridge looked like yours. I loved the animal hair. I loved the Captain Morgan prenatals. lol. Special mention must be made to Jennifer for the rectal-suppository-tainted-butter.

I got a little fridge envy this weekend. Those large crisper drawers, deep doors, shiny surfaces.....I rolled it around in my mind a little bit: new fridge - pay off debt - new fridge - pay off debt....okay the debt. But next year..... sigh. My fridge doesn't seal well, so you can always feel cold air escaping. It drains suddenly and loudly, sounding like an old man peeing. It freezes veggies in the bottom right crisper drawer. But worst of all, the bottom drawers will not close symmetrically. In order for them to operate, they have to be at strange angles. I need symmetry. This bothers me more than the money escaping through the bad seals. OCD? maybe just a little.

Our fridge got a makeover this weekend. We started with something red (which I think was blackberry juice, not blood, just in case you were worried) dripped all over the already crusty shelving.

And get a load of that limp bok choy. Bok Choy makes the perfect South Beach snack. It's nice and crispy and great for dipping into a good homemade bean dip. I'm not a big chip-eater, but when you've got the munchies, it is every bit as satisfying as eating chips and dip. The kids even love it and made a whole dinner of it last week. Not now though. That floppy stuff would NOT make a satisfying snack.

I turned the bag of bulging garbanzos into hummus and threw the cabbage away because it's been in the fridge for about 3 months. It's pretty on the outside, but there's no way it could taste good.

Then there's the door. It's not hard to clean these compartments. They all pop out and can even fit in the dishwasher. But they rarely see soap and water. They stay covered in sticky goo quite often. There is always a ring of molasses in there. Nasty, nasty, nasty. Sometimes, you have to tug kind of hard on the jar to get it out of the fridge because it's stuck to the shelf.

Why am I admitting this online?

Runt helped us drag it all out. The rest of the gang were sick. Such a helper.
Ready for the end result? (this is so exciting isn't it?)

Here's the outside. I try to keep pictures and names on the freezer door to remind me to pray for friends and family. Each time I grab for some grub, I see my reminder. When I PMS, you get prayed for a lot. This is missing a picture of my gorgeous niece and nephew because Honor has run off with it. Again. Also missing are pictures of grandparents because I have a million and one pictures in my computer that have never been printed. You're still being prayed for, grandparents! Most people open their fridge and feel guilty about gluttony. I open my fridge and heap condemnation on myself for not printing photos.

So if you want added to my prayer list, send a picture :D
But obviously it must be through the mail and NOT email. If you send it via email, I'll forget to print it and end up feeling even more guilty than usual. It will haunt me every time I reach for ice cream. Don't ruin my ice cream.

Here is the mostly finished inside. Much better. I didn't end up throwing much away. Just a lot of shuffling. I didn't give the shelves the good scrubbing they needed, but I wiped them down. They aren't sticky or slimy any more. Baby steps.

Do you see the unbalanced drawers? Does it bother you as much as it bothers me? Maybe if I mention how much I've always wanted a stainless finish Frigidaire side-by-side, they'll send me one to review?

A girl can dream.

Jennie, I'm going to steal your cannister idea for salad. My ziploc bags get tossed around a lot and it can't be good for the spinach.

Lastly, the door. Ahhhh, much better. Sweetcheeks, himself, is solely responsible for this beautiful door. He worked hard and he worked cheerfully and he volunteered to do it without my asking. What a hunk of man.

At one point, he did get angry and throw something. It really bothered him that he couldn't group the ketchup, mustard, and relish-type items all together on the same shelf. He shuffled and reshuffled shelving to sort like-items together, but in the end, it just wasn't possible. This really bothered him. OCD? maybe just a little. And he makes fun of me for alphabetizing my spice rack. Ha!

Well, I've officially avoided teaching my children anything this morning and instead, rambled on about a refrigerator. I do believe I may have succesfully run off anyone left reading this blog. My readership apparently spends their time on productive things, like cleaning their house and stuff. :D

Jennie, you'll get a Foil Hat gift certificate in your inbox soon. Since I was declared a winner, too, perhaps I should order myself one...

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