Thursday, May 3

To blog or not to blog

The conference was incredible. I cried during one of the seminars. I got handy tips. I previewed some great books. I got to hear the author of Tapestry of Grace (that lady knows her scripture) and of My Father's World (that guy looks like Jimmy Buffet.) I got to stay up till 1:00 in the morning giggling with friends. I got to eat Zio's chocolate torte.

So here's the deal:
I do not have a clean house. I have great plans for our homeschool days, but we rarely meet target. I really need to eliminate my distractions. Even when I don't blog, I'm blogging in my head. When I do blog, I can't help peeking at y'all's cool blogs.

I have always always always wanted to write. And to sing. I blog and I sing with the praise and worship team at church. It's not publishing a great novel and it's not going platinum with a cd, but they fulfill my dreams quite well.

However, I signed up to be a wife and a mom. Those two jobs are my responsibility. Dreams are great, but I'm supposed to pursue my responsibilities first. I know that this must sound silly to most people - this shouldn't be a difficult balance to achieve - but it's difficult for me. I don't want to 'have an escape'. I have GOT to get rid of that mindset. Escape from what? My family? My incredible kids? No way! So why can't I get this right?

I seriously think I need to stop blogging until I learn how to put my energy fully into the here and now. Energy? What energy? I haven't slept through the night in 4 years!

But I really like to blog.

I cannot tell you how much it rings my bell to find out someone found me entertaining. Me? I get to say something wittier than "Math done yet?" or "Have you looked in the library basket? or "You're old enough to wipe yourself," or "No! They're mine! How 'bout a sippy cup instead?" (in decreasing order from oldest to youngest.)

Blech.

I never finished my 10 list (outside of my head.) I never shared the cool stuff I learned during convention. Coaster Car season and VBS are about to begin and make great blog fodder. Potty training my 18 month old.

Priorities.

Double Blech.

Go figure, spell-check doesn't care for "blech."



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