The Lord knows I'm a visual learner. He's such a good homeschool teacher. Case in point: Sarah was whining and I knew she was tired. I picked her up and she laid her head down on my shoulder. I asked "Are you ready for a nap?" She said "Huh-uh," and shook her head, but didn't sit up. I grabbed her blanket and sat in the rocking chair with my snuggling baby. She immediately began to wail. It was an awful sound. Desperate and angry. But she didn't sit up. I wasn't holding her head down, I was just holding her and rocking. She was fussing and pitiful, but she didn't even attempt to lift her head.
If she had lifted her head, I would have known to stop rocking - that kid wasn't taking a nap. Sometimes she just needs a snuggle. But despite her verbal argument about the nap, I knew she didn't mean it. If she did, she'd have done something about it.
That's me. I rant and I rail about how different I want to do things. But I don't move.
Oh, I mean it desperately!
but I don't move.
So I'm sharing this new revelation with you. Even though you probably already know it. If you say something but do nothing, perhaps you don't mean it as much as you think you do. No matter how convincing you sound, to others or yourself, if action doesn't follow words or emotions, do you really mean it? Do you mean it enough to do something about it?
Are any of these "you"?
You say you're sorry for the same offense on a regular basis, but do you mean it enough to stop doing the offense?
You say you want out of debt, but do you mean it enough to stop spending money on "miscellaneous," "dining out," or "clothing."
You say you want a clean house, but do you mean it enough to not run off, turn on the tv, or pop open a book saying "I'll get to it later"?
You say you want to share your faith with others, but do you mean it enough to leave the house and talk to someone other than your children? to be nice to your waitress when she forgets your order and never refills your drink?
Or how about me? I get this great visual aid and I finally "get it." And then what? I say I want to make my home and family my passion, but do I mean it enough to get up and give them my focus or do I blog about it first? LOL!
I'm going to back off....perhaps Fridays only or something? Because I have a 'Fess Up Friday that I've got to get dh's permission to share. My problem is that once I get started, I feel the pressure to post every day so no reader gets bored. But then I'm forgetting why I started blogging in the first place: writing and expressing myself, figuring out my own thoughts...and shrugging off the people-pleaser in me.
I'd appreciate your prayers as I figure out how to prioritize. I've fallen into a slump and am having trouble finding the inertia to change my patterns. Scooting my batookus away from the computer sounds like a good start, but the truth is, if I don't give this to God, no method is going to work.
Imagine that, spell-check doesn't care for batookus and would like me to replace it with "incubators."
7 comments:
I totally respect your dedication to your family-but I will miss reading your blogs!!!
Jenn, you're singing my song. With the exception of a couple of kids and bottom wiping, you have described my life, my house, my attitudes completely.
I'll be praying Jenn! I do understand.
God bless you! Michelle at Rosetta Stone has monthly resolutions instead of yearly ones, and I love that idea. They say, too, that it takes about a month to change a habit. That makes it kind of easy, doesn't it? Just one month, just one thing, and before you know it, it all snowballs into just what you wanted all along.
Good luck to you, Jenn, and lots of love!
Hey, do what ya gotta do! I'm trying to do a little of that (different areas, same principle) myself.
The first thing I've done is to but back on my time at a certain board. Oh, I still enjoy it, but do I have to hang on every word? I think not. And there really are some conversations that would be better for me to just stay out of. I do not need to insert my $.02 in every thread. I'm running myself into virtual debt there, LOL!
Now I have to try not to spend as much time or more hopping around and reading everyone's blogs! Something has to be done quickly before my butt conforms completely to this desk chair!
Nicely put! Enjoying your blog immensely.
Man, I come here for a good laugh or a cute story and end up getting all convicted and stuff. Major buzzkill.
Just kidding. Good stuff. I'd say I'd think that one over, but I don't really need to. It's true.
Incubators?
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