Jamaica Farewell

Lend an Ear

Okay, it's not classic rock, but how can you not love Harry Belafonte? At the moment, I can't think of a single performer with the name Harry that I haven't liked. But it's late and I'm tired, so don't hold me to that one.

I'm exhausted but my head and heart are swirling tonight, so I'll blog instead of sleep. I said goodbye to a dear, dear friend today. She is moving away. Not to Jamaica, just Arkansas, but it is quite possible that I'll never see her again and that breaks my heart. This woman has influenced me in so many ways. She has truly been a sister in Christ to me. I met her over 10 years ago. I was a 19 year old newlywed teaching a Sunday School class when I met her. Her kids were in my class. She never treated me like a silly 19 year old. She listened to me as if she really thought I might have something important to say. And WOW! the important things she had to say to me through the years. She has been my spiritual guidance counselor. She has been my encourager, my prayer warrior, my cheerleader, my conscience, my voice of reason.

We used to meet, as a ladies group, for prayer every Tuesday morning. All of us gals have moved on to different churches and haven't met for prayer in almost 2 years. But we met for one last prayer meeting today. I found myself holding back and just savoring each moment with these ladies, soaking in their wisdom. It hit me hard - how much everything has changed these past few years. I've spent the last couple years doing the right stuff, but I'd forgotten just how intimate and real my relationship with God used to be until I saw that same personal relationship in my friend. This woman taught me how to pray. It isn't that I've thought "woohoo, I'm doing things right, I don't need an intimate, passionate relationship with my Saviour." It's that I've been thinking more along the lines of "I'm tired" or "did the 2-year-old just wet her pants again?" or "spelling shmelling; he's gonna be a Nascar Driver." I've been surviving. And alternating between excuses and guilt trips. My friend visited with me later and reminded me: it's neither. The guilt trips do not come from Him. The excuses are a waste of energy. My soul is crying out for Him. Rather than struggle with where I've been or even where I am, I need to just meet Him. Wherever I am.

I keep "getting it" but then I turn around and lose sight again. Someone gets sick, I overbook my schedule, someone insults my character, my laundry screams mutiny, puppies sneak out of my backyard and chase my neighbors....a million head-turners. But I'm not the only person with stuff on their plate. It seems every time my plate gets heaped high, I start fitting God into my life instead of remembering that He is my whole life. It makes me heartsick. Seeing these ladies today reminded me what I've been missing. I was falling into the mindset that you get saved and then you join committees. Committees are swell, but they aren't to be done in a "martha" kind of way. . . my duty and service. No, they are supposed to be done in a "mary" kind of way. . . my worship of God using my energy and resources.

So time to backstep again. What have I learned? Worship. Surrender. And He WILL make all things beautiful in His time. 

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