Better late than never

I promised April some answers to her deep questions. Well, I said I'd commiserate anyway. So here goes:

-Where has all the time gone?
Tell me about it! Why did I not store up more of those precious moments? I was fooling myself when I thought I "captured" them with the camcorder. Those tiny, tickly toes turn into big stinky boy feet so quickly.

-When did my little girl turn into a half grown woman?
Well, mine's a boy and he is NOT turning into a half grown woman, but my baby is turning into a pre-teen boy and it is amazing to me. It has been my goal to raise him up to be a Godly man of integrity and....he is. It's working! My Baby is becoming a Man.

-Why do I homeschool? Could I just hire someone to do this for me?
Well, you could. I couldn't (jeepers that's expensive.) But then it would miss the point of why you homeschool. I'll share my reasons and you can pick and choose what fits you:
*Pajamas are cooler than real clothes and we can wear them all day long
*Having all the kids at home makes a great excuse for not going out and getting a job.
*I needed a good excuse to read about all the stuff I missed in an easy-read format. That grown-up stuff is just so wordy.
*I find it easier to micro-manage and control every second of my children's day when they are always in my sight. (I'm kidding. I am a control freak, but that is NOT why I homeschool.)
*I want to live out my faith in front of my kids and show them that God is in everything we do...even math.
*I didn't want to have to explain things to them that they overheard in elementary school.
*I didn't want them to have to to explain things to me that they overheard in middle school.
*I want to protect them.
*I want to have some time with my kids. No scurrying in the morning to get out the door. No homework while I cook dinner. No empty evenings full of laundry, baths, and bed...and no time.
*I want to give them a good education. I want to 'teach them to love learning.' I want them to learn Latin. I want them to hear the exciting history of our world. I want them to take ownership of their own educations.
*I want to never stop learning with them.

-When am I going to stop daydreaming about things like gardens and small towns and cute houses that aren't anywhere to be found and farms and animals and just be content with where I am?
That would be me. I read the Encyclopedia of Country Living and took page after page of notes, including how to process methane out of cow manure. My cows? Don't have any. Land to put them on? um, no. Prospects of land? no. But maybe someday.... and if that someday happens? I'm sure I will be daydreaming about a different perfect farmhouse that magically repells snakes and field mice.

-Where am I? Where am I supposed to be? What am I....just kiddin.
Regardless of what great plan might have been and okay, so maybe you missed a turn somewhere and maybe not......the point is You are right where you are. THAT is where you are supposed to be. This is God's perfect plan for you right now. Do it well.

-Why does sugar have to make me feel so yucky when I love it so?
It is of the devil. He loves to see you with mood swings, bloated cheeks, and gas-cramps. Ooh - speaking of sugar, have you tried the Take 5 candy bars? Those things are sooooo gooood.

-Why are gas prices so high and when are people going to stop driving stupid-big vehicles?
It's nuts isn't it?!? We are such a spoiled society. Huge vehicles left and right and everyone complaining that they can't afford the gas and yet they keep driving to the mall an hour away. WHY does anyone need that much car anyway? Mini-vans fit most families just fine.

-Why do I want a Chevy Suburban?
Not me, I want a Hummer.

I'm a hypocrite.

-Why is it so hard for me to stick to exercising?
Are you kidding? You did an awesome dismount at the gas station just a couple weeks ago! You are like an exercise goddess! Give yourself a pat on the back and pick yourself up a slushee during your next performance :)

-Why did I wait 31 years to get my first pedicure?
I've had one. It was a $6.00 pedicure in Mexico a couple years ago. The gals doing it didn't speak a word of English (that they let on) and had a blast pointing at my ugly feet and making comments that I couldn't understand. I loved it. I'd love more. (hint, hint, hubby)

-Why can't I solve my friend's problems? Why don't I know all the answers to her questions? How can I help her if she can't help herself?
Yeah, I'm not touching that one.
Well, okay, just a little.
Sounds like a situation where you just can't. But you can say I love you. And let her learn. When we've got lots of people to turn to, it sometimes just makes it take longer for us to realize they can't help us and that we need to turn to God for the answers.

-Why do people like carpet and linoleum?
I dream of hardwood floors. They will be so pretty that I won't mind sweeping them 5 times a day because every piece of dirt shows. I'm certain of it. I will need rugs beside the beds so my feet don't get cold in the morning. And around the couches. How hard are rugs to clean?

-Is my basement ever going to stop stinking like whatever it's stinking like?
Not if it's toxic black mold. But if it is, the good news is that you'll probably get a new house out of the insurance money.

-Are my chickens ever going to stop pooping and start laying eggs?
And we have now come to the end of my expertise.

-Is this post ever going to end?
Hopefully this is it, because I was bluffing. I have no are of expertise.

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