"R" rated

This post is rated people. You probably just want to turn your heads now.

My "Created to be His Helpmeet" bible study went well last week. It was very interesting to get the different perspectives. It was great to be able to encourage and be encouraged to be more helpful to our husbands, in attitude and in deed. One subject that came up in discussion was finances, because they oftentimes seem to be a source of stress to our men. One gal discussed a new money management software. Another opted to be cheerful about a new envelope system. One opened separate accounts for her and her husband. But me, in order to alleviate my husband's stress level, offered to take over the finance management. WooHoo! Something concrete! A project! The bible study has dealt mostly with attitudes and they aren't as easy to "tackle" in an obvious way. I need something I can put on a checklist, kwim?

Unfortunately, I had several other things on my checklist and I somehow forgot that the finances were in my lap. And I messed them up. I messed them up bad.

On the same day that I realized my big error(s,) a friend jokingly shared with me a bit of a bellydancing tutorial. Aha! I thought. I could redeem my financial blunder with a bit of bellydancing! That would cheer him up! I practiced and practiced to a cd lent to me by my beautimus bellydancing bud and waited eagerly for Chris to come home. But he ended up working late and wasn't up to watching me bellydance in the middle of the night. So the next morning, I coaxed all the kids outside and lured Chris to the shower to keep his mind off the checkbook. I hit play on the cd player and immediately heard screaming from a kid that was NOT outdoors where she was supposed to be. drama-drama-drama-while I'm dripping-drama-drama-drama-naked here-okay-done-go back outside. And we hit play again. Within 30 seconds, another kid was in the bathroom with us. Apparently, there's nothing like cranking up the bass to a little Black Eyed Peas to get your kids to come running. They all wanted to "hear the music, too!" Hitting pause and breaking up arguments and herding children are major mood killers. So I pulled out the big guns. I set them up at the table with fingerpaint! Knowing they were good to go, I tried one last time to create a properly distracting shower.....

and then I got soap in my eye.

It hurt like heck.

I wailed and winced and gave up.

So learn from me, people:
#1 Don't screw up your checkbook, it hurts your husband's head.
#2 Don't play cd's in your house with words you don't want your children hearing even if they do have a really great beat.
#3 Don't practice bellydancing in front of your 3 year old unless you want her dancing like that to Father Abraham in her Sunday School Class.
#4 Save romantic showers for late nights when the kids have all had warm milk laced with benadryl.

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