Monday, November 17

Fixing it

On to week 2 of the 56 Day Challenge, with a wrap-up of week 1:

Day 4 was to take everything to God in prayer.

-I need to make this an everyday assignment. Take it outside of morning devotions. Take it outside of the box of praying when I'm desperate. Pray in thanksgiving. Pray for wisdom. Pray for those little child-like things and let the children see God answer prayer.

Day 5 was to jot down truths about family, parenting, and kids on scraps of paper.

-I kid you not, I couldn't think of any. Not one. The only two that came to mind were about discipline - "obey the first time" and "work first, play second." They are mantras around here. But not inspiring words I want to run across of scraps of paper. Does anyone have any parenting truths to share? Can I steal yours?

Day 6: Watch what Daddy does. Emulate it.
Daddy gets down and plays with them. He throws 'em around and tickles them until they beg for mercy. And he gives it the moment they ask. I need to get down there and do more tea party/lego stuff.

Daddy also speaks harshly sometimes, which I need to not emulate. It's not very often. Chris usually leaves the discipline part to me, which I understand. He's working 14 of their 15 conscious hours. When he's home, he doesn't want to be the bad guy. I think he handles this wisely. But sometimes he holds his tongue too long and his frustration bubbles out in a sharp tone. I've done it as well and this is not a critique of Chris' parenting but an observance for myself as I think through the dance of discipline.

This happened with Chris and Joel just a few days ago and I asked Joel afterwards what he was thinking at that moment. He told me that he wasn't thinking, he was just scared. Please keep in mind that this was nothing scary - just a bit sharp and a bit loud - out of the ordinary for daddy. And I had suspected as much: when faced with our anger, they are not thinking about what they did wrong, they are simply feeling fear of what's going on and of wondering if they'll be spanked. Again, don't misunderstand. I'm not saying they do not need disciplined; I'm saying that I really see now how ineffective it is to try to discipline with anger showing.

Day 7 was to rest.

Day 8, today, is to figure out the root of my problems and fix it.

Ha!

Doesn't it sound simple? But by going over my lists of things that I'd like to see improve, the root is pretty obvious: my lack of perseverance. I'm tired, I'm cluttered, I'm distracted. I need to be more diligent. Now on to fixing it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmm.. Truths about family, parenting, and kids...

We need each other. :) We need to live together, so we need to be nice to one another.

I am saying those ALL the time. :)

I need to thank God more often, myself. *sigh*

Christy said...

you are so right about the anger in discipline. I have big problems with my tone of voice and it is one that has crept up on me.

I don't think I could think of any truths either...

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